


Tony: Age Zero

by Jeniouis



Series: Howard Stark Centered Fics [32]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Maria, Alpha Tony, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Baby!Tony, F/M, Howard is barren, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Infertility, M/M, Omega Sam, Omega Steve, Past Kidnapping, Past Torture, Psychological Trauma, The Ultimate Teen Parenting, Trauma, Whump, Work In Progress, alpha bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4334450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first twelve months of Tony's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birth Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is not standalone, you'll need to read[Before Tony](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4333814).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 29, 2015

Howard looked down at the newborn in his arms. He was all of four minutes old. He so was precious. Howard have had mixed feeling for the past nine months. He had thought the kid would have been a constant reminder of the worst four months of his life. That he would have hated him. That he would have looked down at the baby and want to throw him across the room.

But as he looked down at his tiny, tiny baby all he could fell was an immense amount of love. And he only saw a little miracle, a blessing. And Howard never wanted to let him go.

When he first told that his baby might not survive the pregnancy or the delivery, Howard had a small, selfish relief. And now he regretted that very feeling. Hoping nothing would come and take his little darling, his little angel away from him.

He didn’t know how to hold him at first. And his mother had to teach him how to hold a baby. So Howard was clutching him close to his chest. Making sure he wouldn’t drop him. It wouldn’t be too bad if he dropped him now, because Howard was sitting on a bed but he wanted to make sure that he knew he was doing for when he was standing or walking.

“Did you think of a name?” His mother said from beside him. She looked heartbroken. So did his dad and his brother. It was the saddest childbirth that Howard had ever seen. But his mother forced herself not to cry and to smile as she sat beside him, rubbing his back.

Howard nodded, “Anthony Edward Stark.”

His dad looked stricken. “What happened to our long line of Howards?” He asked.

“Daddy, that name is so old.” Howard said. “It’s all up to Eddie now.” Howard said, trying to keep the regret out of his voice. All up to Eddie because he couldn’t have any more children. The abuse he endured nine months back and the childbirth had been hard on his young body. The doctor had declared him barren. Howard guessed that’s what made him love Anthony even more. This was to be his one and only child. That’s what made him so precious.

“But he has your middle name and Eddie’s name.” Howard said. His dad smiled and patted his head. Then the nurse came in and said it was time for the first feeding lesson. His dad and brother, nearly fled the room. His mother shook her head at them. And sat with him through it. Howard asked the nurse would Anthony always be so small. Because he was so tiny. Barely five pounds. A result of Howard's small, young body. Anthony didn’t really have much room to grow. But she reassured him that one his growth spurts started kicking in, he should be fine.

After Tony fed, the nurse taught him how to burp him and left, telling him that a social worker would be in soon, so they could fill out all the necessary forms.

Howard tensed then. He had known about it before, his parent’s explained everything to him, of course. And Howard truly understood. He was too young to raise a kid. But now that he had Tony, he didn’t want to let him go.

“Are you going to take him away from me now?” Howard asked, looking up at his mother. She looked as if her heart had just been ripped from her chest.

“No darling, we don’t want to take Anthony away from. We just…your father and I think it would be better if we raised him. He won’t be away from you, he’ll just grow up thinking you’re his brother.” She explained once again. She had felt the need to explain everything to him at least once a week.

Howard nodded, “But he’s…” My son is what he almost said. But Howard knew his parents were only doing what was best for him and their grandson. And they were right. A ten year old was not fit to be a parent of any sort. It just hurt that Tony was never going to know. He’ll never know that Howard was his carrier. He’ll call his grandmother mommy. And his grandfather daddy. And he regard Howard with the same bickering love that Howard did his brother. And it hurt. It hurt that Howard would never be able to have a son. Especially since he couldn’t have another one.

He’ll never have another child.

But it wasn’t really about him. It was about what was best for Tony.

“Okay mommy.” Howard said.


	2. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 30, 2015

Howard had been homeschooled for the past school year. Since it had pretty much been shot for him. They guys who had kidnapped him were caught. Howard had to identify them and they were just waiting for the trial. His mother had asked him if he wanted to move or if he wanted to go to another school. Howard was thinking about it.

Everyone in his community, his town knew. He was one of the two male omega on this side of the United States. Well three now, because a baby omegamale had been born yesterday. The same day as Tony. But he was small and sickly and had to stay in the hospital. For some reason, Howard had felt very sorry for him. Maybe it was his knew motherly instincts. But he when he saw the tiny baby, he had to refrain from picking the darling up and coddling him. And the other omega was Fury's oldest son. He just got a new baby brother a few days ago. He had stopped by and saw Tony. They went to school together but he was Eddie's age, fifteen. But Howard was so smart, he had been skipped up several grades so he was in the junior class with all the other genius (or close enough) students who settled in the Marvel Community to attend The Marvel Academy. It was world renown. Which is why Howard would want to stay but at the same token…

It was a small community and a small school. Everyone would know. Everyone knew. Knowing that made him want to stay locked in the house forever. But his dad told him Starks were made of Iron so he had to be strong. Even of he didn't want to.

-

Howard sat in the nursery, looking at his little angel. He was too short to see him above the slats of wood so he had to pull a chair, and sit in it on his knees. Peering over the railing at his little Anthony. He was asleep right now. That's what he had done all day, and yesterday. Slept and ate. But Howard guessed that's all he could do.

He wanted to reach in the crib and pick his little Anthony up. But he didn't know if that would wake him or of he even should. His mother said he was too young to take care of a baby. Maybe he should just let her hold Anthony from now on.

Howard watched Anthony for a moment longer, until he heard Eddie call out his name. Then he popped up in the doorway, took in the situation, sadness and sympathy covered his eyes.

"Hey kiddo, what are you up to? When I didn't see you in bed I…" He looked at Howard and suddenly changed his course of words, "Well, never mind. I was just wondering where you were."

Howard sighed. That was one of the things that made Howard want to run away from this community. Because everyone knew what happened, everyone skirted around the issue, tried not to mention anything that happened during the time of Howard's absence. And that was the last thing he wanted. Howard wanted to know what he had missed during the four months. It would make him feel as if he had been away on vacation instead of being abused by some horrid people.

"I just wanted to watch over Anthony." Howard said in a small voice. Wondering had he done something wrong.

Eddie gave him a small, sad smile. "Do you want to hold him?"

Howard looked up at him hopefully, "Can I?"

And that seemed to make Eddie even sadder. "Of course you can. He's still your son Howie." Eddie said as he reached inside the crib and gently picked up his little nephew who squirmed a little but settled when he was in Howard's arms. Howard made sure to be very careful and gently. The floor was carpeted but he still didn't want to drop his baby. Howard smiled down at Anthony, kissing his little forehead. He was a strong, healthy little baby. With jet black hair like Howard's. and he had Howard's eyes and nose. He actually didn't see anyone else in Anthony. Howard didn't know if that was because he didn't want to think about who the monster was that sired Anthony or if his eyes were being honest. But it didn't matter now. Anthony was his little angel and that was all Howard needed.

"Isn't he beautiful, Eddie?" Howard said, glancing up at his older brother who chuckled and patted his cheek, sitting on the floor beside Howard.

"He sure is kiddo." Eddie said honestly. "Just like his carrier." Howard smiled at that. They sat in pleasant silence, especially when Tony stirred a little, opening his eyes a little. He had big gorgeous brown eyes.

But when he started fussing, nuzzling Howard's chest, Eddie jumped to his feet. "I'll go get momma."

And before Howard could say anything, he bolted out the room. Howard shook his head, looking down at Tony again, who was starting to grow fussier. Howard took a deep breath. He didn't really know what to do. Should he go ahead and feed Tony? Or wait for his mom so he wouldn't do something wrong? Howard suddenly felt a wave of guilt. He didn't know what to do with his own child. He guessed that's why he didn't deserve to keep him. But before too long, his mother came darting around the corner.

Howard was relieved to see her.

She smiled at him. A heartbroken smile but at least an attempt. "Do you know why he's fussy?" His mom asked. Howard nodded.

"He's hungry?" Howard guessed. She nodded. Howard raised his shirt and started feeding Tony, watching over him as he ate.

"I think I'm a bad parent." Howard said quietly. His mother got the most stunned and hurt look, and for a second he was sure she was going to start crying. Howard started to feel guilty. She had cried so much since he escaped, and he didn't mean to hurt her. He never wanted to cause her pain.

"Baby, what makes you think that?" She asked, sounding horrified. Howard looked down at the carpeted floor.

"When Eddie left, Anthony started getting fussy and I…I didn't know what to do." Howard admitted. His mother made a small sound of heartbroken laughter.

"Oh no baby. No parent knows what to do with their first child. You should have seen me and your father with Eddie. I know you love Tony very much." His mother reassured him and she kissed his forehead, and rubbed his cheek. "I never wanted to take Anthony away from you. You know that, right?" His mother asked. Howard nodded. He was being truthful. "Your just so young right now. But maybe when your older, when your a grown up, you can take Anthony back, okay?" His mother said. Howard looked up at her so hopefully.

"That would make me so happy." Howard said. She hugged him and lost the long taught battle to not cry again.

She said, "I know baby. I know."


	3. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 31, 2015

"Hey buddy, I made you a little present. Come look at it." Howard heard his dad call out to him from the basement, their lab. His dad's tone had been colorless and stoic. Like he was discussing the weather. But the distant and somewhat cold father Howard had known before the kidnapping was long gone. He was even a lot closer and warmer to Eddie, who seemed cautious with their, in a sense, new dad. And Howard understood. Eddie had grown up with their 'old dad' a lot longer than him. Dad wasn't do warm he was nurturing but his mother, his carrier, was. They were actually a pretty good model (now) of what Howard would have wanted for Tony, had…had he been given the chance.

Howard left his studies, since his morning lessons were over and he was just doing homework (which was lame, homework at home), grabbed the baby monitor so he could hear Anthony if he started crying, and walked down the basement stairs. He walked in the lab cautiously. He didn't spend much time down here. His dad always told him the lab was too dangerous for children. But Howard would sneak down here from time to time, to snag materials for his own growing mini lab located on the other side of his room. Though he always thought his dad knew.

"Hi daddy." Howard said when he reached his father who smiled down at him and ruffled his hair.

"The cribs with the drop down side have all been recalled and banned but you can't reach over the side of Anthony's crib, so I've created," Howard realized that his dad took to this as he did his big time presentation of his latest creation. He presented the problem and then his solution.

"A crib, especially for you." His dad finished. Howard looked at the crib and smiled. It wasn't as tall as the other one and the side let down. But only after a confirmed thumb scan. Howard didn't know why his dad thought the extra security measure would be necessary but Howard guessed it was because if Tony turned out to be a genius too, he would probably be trying to figure out how to get out. Howard wouldn't want that. And the crib wasn't made from wood. It was made from a very lightweight metal. Not so light that Howard could pick it up but he could push it around, especially since it was on lockable wheels.

Howard hugged his dad, "Thank you daddy!"

His dad smiled and kissed his hair. They passed by his mother as they were taking the crib to the nursery and she suggested they put it in Howard's room until Anthony was a little older. Which made Howard smile. He wouldn't have to leave his room at night to watch over his baby anymore.

-

That night, Howard woke up in the middle of the night. He had no idea why but he went and checked on Tony, not because he necessarily felt the need to but he wanted to. He opened Anthony's crib and picked him up. His little angel was awake, his big eyes were open for a while and he looked up at Howard, or at least he thought his baby was looking up at him. Howard didn't know how much he could see but he was starting to notice a pattern. Anthony was the most active during the night. He was nocturnal. And Howard hoped he'd grow out of it by two. But by then Anthony would be his mother's responsibility. And Howard already felt the sense of loss because of it. But at least he had Tony now.

"Hi Anthony." Howard cooed. “Hey, it’s your daddy. I used to talk to you when you in my tummy.” He said, sitting down in a chair. The only reply Tony made was squirming a bit, and nuzzling his chest. But he wasn’t hungry. His nuzzle would be a lot more determined had he been. He seemed to be taking…comfort. Howard smiled down at him, gently brushing his thumb over his small cheek.

“Soon you’ll forget about that though, if you haven’t already.” Howard said. “And you’ll forget that I’m your daddy and you’ll call someone else that and will only think of me as a brother. But that’s okay.” Howard said, trying to ignore how his breath got caught in his throat. “It’ll be alright. I just hope that you…I just hope that you always remember how much I love you.” Howard said.

But Howard knew he wouldn’t. Anthony wouldn’t remember his love, not the love from a parent to their child. Not Howard’s love as his carrier. Brotherly love was different. Could be just as strong but still different. But it wasn’t Anthony’s fault. And it might not have been Howard’s fault but he didn’t know anymore.

Anthony suddenly settled in Howard’s embrace and peacefully drifted into sleep. Howard smiled, kissed his hair, and placed him back in the crib, placing the covers back over him, before closing and locking the crib again. He whispered,

“I love you so much.” To Anthony one last time before getting back in his bed. He forced himself not to cry like he wanted to, like he almost did. But he didn’t want to cry in front of Anthony.


	4. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June 1, 2015

_Howard sat shivering and crying in the dark, damp closet they had locked him in. He had no idea how much time passed or when they would be back. So he sat there. In the ominous black surrounding him. A cloud of dreadful apprehension engulfing him. He wanted to go home. He wanted his mother._

_He startled when the door jerked open with a shrilling creek. He pressed himself against the wall, wishing if he pushed back hard enough, it would open and give him an escape. But three evil faces appeared in the door way and Howard closed his eyes. He didn't scream anymore. He did protest anymore when they grabbed his arm and dragged him out the closet._

_They bathed him. Touching every part of his body. They made him touch them too. Made him use his mouth. Then they threw him into a room containing nothing but four walls and a bed. They told him to lay down in it and be good for the customers._

Howard jolted awake, so much so that he fell on the floor. His breathing was labored and shallow but he hadn't been screaming. And right now, he needed to escape. He felt the sudden strong desire to get out of his room. Without even thinking he walked over to Tony’s crib. His son was wide awake, Howard could see his big brown eyes opening and closing, even in the dark. He opened the crib and wrapped a blanket around Tony, picking him up. Escaping without his baby was unthinkable. He could never leave Tony behind.

Howard was quick and soft on his feet as he carried Tony out the room, down the hall to the bedroom right next door to his. He opened it gently and quietly and closed it in the same manner. He walked up to the huge bed, glad there was only one person in it (sometimes there was more), and gingerly climbed in under the covers, holding Tony close so he wouldn’t fall off the side but he snuggled beside Eddie. Who only snored loudly, completely unaware. Howard glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It read five-fifteen a.m. He wouldn’t fall asleep again, he knew. But at least he felt safe now.

-

And as he expected, Howard was still awake when the alarm went off at eight-thirty. Eddie shifted, slapped the alarm and pulled the covers over his head, blissfully unaware he wasn't alone.. And he probably wouldn’t have known Howard was there (he never noticed Howard before, when he was younger and would sneak in during thunderstorms) had Anthony not decided that now would be a good time to scream. Eddie startled, jolting awake. Then calm down as he recognized peeked behind him, looking down at Howard curiously. Anthony was still crying nuzzling Howard’s chest determinedly, which made Eddie blush.

“Howie kiddo, what are you doing here?” Eddie said as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. Howard didn’t want to answer that, so he just sat up, leaning against the headboard, holding Tony close. “Howie? What’s wrong?” Eddie persisted. Howard shrugged.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Howard mumbled shyly. And now Eddie was starting to look concerned. Then he glanced down at Anthony, who was still trying to give Howard the clue that he was hungry.

“Oh ok, do you want to talk about it?” Eddie asked. Howard shook his head. Eddie sighed, rubbing his cheek. “Alright, well I’m going to go take a shower while you feed Tony and we can talk about it later, alright?” Howard nodded, noticing that he called Anthony, Tony. Howard liked it, the nickname.

After Tony ate, he picked him up and carried him out to his hall. But when he got to his bedroom door, he hovered around, still too scared to go in. So he crept down to his parents’ bedroom and snuck, glad they were still asleep as he tiptoed into their bathroom so he could wash Tony. But of course the water running woke his tender sleeping father, who opened the door and stared down at him curiously.

“Is there something wrong with your bathroom?” His dad asked. Howard shook his head shyly. The ‘then why are you here?’ lingered in the air but his dad only ruffled his hair.

“Alright well, don’t let me interrupt.” His dad said as he walked out the bathroom, closing the door. Howard was glad he didn’t ask any questions. He finished washing Tony, the way his mother taught him how, and carried his baby back to his room. But again he hovered just outside the door. Too afraid to go in. It was foolish, he knew. But that didn’t stop him from being afraid. Howard didn’t even know what he was afraid of.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Eddie’s voice suddenly rang out. Howard startled a little, turning to find his older brother leaning against the wall. Howard nodded shyly. Eddie sighed. “You want me to go in and make sure there’s nothing bad in there?” Howard nodded gratefully. He knew his brother wouldn’t send him somewhere unsafe. So Eddie walked inside his room and checked under the bed and in the closet, and even opened the window to make sure there was no one standing outside. Eddie checked the bathroom last, and Howard heard the shower curtain open and close from where he was still waiting outside the door, clutching Tony close to his chest.

“It’s all clear.” Eddie said when he finished his search. Howard nodded and took a tentative step inside, and when he finally felt safe again, he walked over to the crib and put Tony back in his bed, tucking a blanket over him, before he closed it again. Then he walked over to Eddie, who was sitting on his bed, and climbed in his lap, hugging him. Taking comfort in Eddie embrace when he hugged him back.

“Do you want to talk about what you dreamed?” Eddie asked, with poorly veiled concern and worry. Howard thought back to the feeling of being hurt again, of being bleeding and crying again and he shook his head fervently. Eddie took a deep breath.

“It’ll be better, kiddo, if you talk about things. It would make you feel better.” Eddie said. Howard couldn’t imagine that. He just wanted to leave the past right where it was. He didn’t want to think about what happened ever again. So he only shook his head again.

And Eddie sighed again, “Alright, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk.” Howard was grateful that he dropped it. “How long have you been up?”

“Since five.” Howard answered. His voice timid and shy.

“Okay, well why don’t you try going back to sleep. I stay right here and make sure nothing will happen to you.” Eddie said. That sounded like a better plan to Howard, so he nodded. Eddie tucked him in and left only to grab some books, and quickly returned, sitting on the floor beside Howard, leaning back on the bed. And before long Howard fell asleep. And this time it was peaceful.

-

Howard hated to admit it but he still had no idea what to do with Anthony. His mom and dad said that's the way it was with all new parents but Howard didn't know if they were being honest or just trying to make him feel better. Howard was reading to him right now. Not the baby books his mother had bought for him, but his books for his lessons. He sat beside Tony in the car seat and read to him and talked out his homework with him. The doctor said that Tony could recognize his voice now so he tried to talk as much as possible. Tony could look around now but the doctor said he couldn't see very far. But he always looked in the direction of Howard's voice when he spoke though he wasn't focusing yet. His mother told him that he was doing just fine, that spending time with his son was a good thing. So Howard continued to read to him. He was reading a chapter from his Material Science textbook out loud to Tony when his mother came in the study room. She smiled down at him, sitting beside him, saying,

“Howie, do you remember Misses Potts. You talked to her right after you came back home.” Howard nodded. Misses Potts was the therapist that helped Howard talk about the guys who had taken him. Howard told her just enough so that the police knew what the guys looked like and then he didn’t want to talk anymore.

“She wanted to come over and talk to you.” His mother said. Howard tensed but before he had to say anything his mother kissed his hair, “She won’t make you talk about what happened. Just how you’ve been doing.” She reassured him. That didn’t seem so bad. But he was still dubious. His mothered sensed that.

“I’m going to be there too.” His mother said. And that made Howard relax.

“Okay then.” Howard said. His mother smiled and kissed his cheek.


	5. Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June 2, 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, Miss Potts is not Pepper. But she will be Pepper's mother.

Howard had thought he would have to meet Misses Potts in some colorless room at a therapy office. But she met with them at his home. His mother told him Miss Potts thought it would be better if he were in the comforts of his own home. They sat in the den, him, his mother, Misses Potts, and even Tony. He was in the car seat on the floor right beside Howard. Misses Potts smiled when she saw his baby. But there was something sympathetic in her eyes. Howard had to refrain from sighing. He wished that just once, someone would look at Tony and see a beautiful, healthy baby boy like Howard did. Instead of seeing him as the result of something horrid. Howard didn’t care about that and neither should anyone else.

Misses Potts asked him a lot of questions. How he was adjusting? How he felt about Tony? Had he seen his friends since he came back? Howard answered as truthfully as he could, like his mother told him too. He told her he felt that he was adjusting just fine, that he loved Tony with all his heart, and that he had seen his friends a few times. But he really wasn’t interested in the things he used to be. So he didn’t see his friends so much anymore. She asked him a few more questions, always writing down his responses in her notepad, then she smiled suddenly and told him that she wanted to speak with his mother for a moment.

Howard picked up the car seat and carried Tony into the living room, placing him on the floor, and sitting beside him.

“That wasn’t so bad." Howard told Tony as he played with his baby's hand. Tony's tiny hand grasped his finger and held on. Howard smiled. "Just as long as I don’t have to do it again. I don't like talking about…things.” Howard said softly, taking a deep breath. Why couldn’t everyone just leave it alone? Tony turned his face to follow Howard’s voice. And Howard could have sworn Tony's bright, brown eyes were looking up at him.

Howard smiled and leaned down, gently kissing Tony's cheek. He opened a textbook and started reading to Tony. He was half way through teaching his five-day-old baby about the circulatory system when his mother, followed by Misses Potts, came in and sat beside him on the couch. His mother told him that they decided that it would be best if Misses Potts stopped by once a week and spoke with him. Alone. Howard was dubious. He would have preferred if his mother was there. Misses Potts said she could sit in sometimes, about once a month. Howard reluctantly said he would agree if, and only if, Tony could be there too. Misses Potts had smiled at that and told him that it would be perfectly fine if Tony was present.

Then Miss Potts said she was giving him some homework, which made Howard frown. She told him that he had to try and see at least one friend a day, starting tomorrow. Howard didn’t want to do that. if he had wanted friends, be would have bern seeing them. But now he and his friends were too different. The horrifying experience he had lived through changed him so much. and he didn’t like it when people were uncomfortable around him, because they didn’t know what to say, how to react. It made made the pain he endure so much more obvious. He didn’t know how to tell Miss Potts that though. So he just told her that him and his friends didn't…understand each other anymore. She smiled down at him in sympathy and told him that he’ll start getting along with his friends again after he started talking with them again. Then she told him that he had to start writing in a journal each and every day, throughout the day. Howard frowned. He felt like he were getting a lot of new rules. His mother saw his worry and rubbed his cheek, telling him it was all to help him heal, which would in turn help Tony. Howard thought that was almost unfair, his mother knew he would do anything for his alphababy.

But Howard also believed his mother. She wouldn't lie to him and she always wanted the best for him. So Howard reluctantly agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed it. :D
> 
> Please leave feedback and feel free to criticize; I am always looking for opportunities to grow.
> 
> I’ve launched an E-Zine where people submit their favorite fics and the best ones get published in the zine. I’m doing this because I want to create something that acknowledges fanfic writers and makes them feel confident about themselves while bringing people of different fandoms together. [To learn more click here.](http://jeniouis.com/jfw-zine.html).


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